Joys of (Step)Motherhood

Let's see. Where do I begin? Well, I was 31 when I got married (for the first time), and married a man who had a beautiful 4 year old daughter, Hannah. Why would I want the baby-mamma drama you ask? Trust me, there are times I ask myself the same question. But the answer is why not? Because then I would miss times like these...

*Hubby and I were having a particularly bad week. Getting on each others nerves, fighting, picking, the whole thing. Well, we had Hannah - she was in the bath tub, and we took the opportunity to fuss at each other a little more. Casey goes into the bathroom to get her out and I hear "NO! I want MISS AMY to do it!!!" Well, here she comes, towel wrapped and brush in hand. Because of the issues going on, I was near tears as it was. What happened next DID NOT help! So she comes and plops down on my lap and gives me a big hug. Hannah looks up at me with those big brown eyes and says "Miss Amy, I know you love me", to which I told her absolutely I do! She looks up at me and says "But I love you more!". Yeah. You guessed it. Waterworks.

*Curlies, Piggies and Ponies. Curlies when she gets her hair put in sponge curlers and she comes out looking like Shirley Temple. Because of the length and thickness of her hair, this takes me about an hour and a half to do. But this is an hour and a half of each others undivided attention. And some of the conversations that have come out of this time, whoah!

*Hugs and kisses goodnight. Better yet - I get "big hug" (this is reserved ONLY for Miss Amy) where we give each other a big bear hug.

*Being the comforter when she's sick or hurt. Enough said.

*Not having to be the bad guy. Well, not always. LOL. This is usually reserved for Daddy. Because of my own limitations, I refuse to be the "spanker" of the house. So, I always have that on my side...LOL.

There are so many other Joys that come with that little 5 year old that completely stole my heart in November, 2006, I just could not list them all here. I wish I could say that being a step-mom and knowing the ins and outs, the lines to cross and not to cross, and how to handle the baby mamma drama all came naturally. I would be lying. It's only because of my own stepmother, Lynn.

I don't want to reduce my relationships with my mom or my dad. They know I love(d) them. However, if it weren't for Lynn I would in no way be prepared for (step)motherhood. When I was young it was Lynn who went to my mom and said ya'll have to stop fighting. You need help with Amy, and we want to see her more. This can be worked out! It was Lynn who laid the path that would create an atmosphere for me that I would forever be grateful for. The school plays that all 4 of my parents attended - and sat together. The mothers day lunches that both families attended so I didn't have to choose. My 4 parents working together to raise me. Not battling each other.

As a grown woman, who has lost one mother (bio-mom), the relationship between Lynn and I has only grown. Yet, she's the first one to say - I'm not her mother, but a pretty close 2nd. She knows that she will never replace my "momma", but yet, I refer to her as "mom" (ie...mom and I went to lunch....talked to my mom on the phone...etc).

I told Casey the day we got married, that if Hannah can say 1/2 the things about me that I can say about Lynn, I will know our marriage was a success.